"The BIG QUESTION"

To choose the moment of my life that sparked this question would be practically impossible. It may have been hearing the words of William Ernest Henley teaching me of the “unconquerable soul” and that I had the capability to become “the master of my fate” and “the captain of my soul”.

Or perhaps it was before then, while watching the movie Signs. In the midst of an alien invasion, Mel Gibson described to me how “People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in group number two are very suspicious. For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope.”

I can’t be certain if one of these events directly spurred my question, or if it is a combination between these and all the other occurrences of my life. What I can be more certain of is that my ‘big question’ is this:

How does the quality of our choices affect the quality of our lives, and how does our view of the world – a world of Divine Inspiration and Fate, or a world of happenstance and luck – change in light of these decisions?

This question plays a large role in The Road by Cormac McCarthy. In this novel, a Man and his Son (who go unnamed throughout the entire novel) are the survivors of a mysterious disaster that has left the world literally in ashes. Faced with this ruined world, these two must bond together and make the best of their situation, constantly trying to remain the “good guys” and “carry the torch” amidst a post-apocalyptic backdrop.  In this case, both the Man and the Son appear to see the world through the lens of divine inspiration. In the Man’s case, this worldview has tainted his mind, and he bitterly walks through life, lamenting how “there are no godspoke men. They are gone and [he is] left and they have taken with them the world.” Contrastingly the Son has hope from this situation, and relies on his father and his viewpoint whole-heartedly. In both cases, the decisions that ultimately mean life and death for this father and son spur from this Divine world view, and they carry on their journey for better or for worse.

As this year progresses, I hope to come closer to answering this question, and to further define my question. But before I begin this journey, I will have to answer the question Mel Gibson posed to me in the same movie: “You have to ask yourself, what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?” It is the answer to this question that will determine my course of discovery, and even what I will find at the end of it.